TO HAVE AND TO HOLD: REKINDLING MARRIAGE – Tips 4-6
a special feature by V.Nicholas, grandmother extraordinaire*
(Or Part 2)
Renew Your Vows, Sleep Together, and Girlfriends were the first three tips I discussed in Part 1, “To Have and To Hold” (https://www.grandparentslink.com/hold-rekindling-marriage/) And now, welcome to Part 2! Here are my next three tips for rekindling your marriage. Enjoy the moments…
Tip #4 – Change What You Can – YOU! After 30 years of marriage you know by now that you can’t change him so by recommitting ’til death do us part, you also include “For Better or Worse”. Take off the pants and wear more (sexy) dresses. Give up on making all the decisions and let him surprise you. Even though you can predict his thoughts and finish his sentences – Don’t! Step back, sit back and let him lead (you probably know where he’s going, but enjoy the ride without the back-seat driving). No criticism, no nagging and no blaming. Forgive past hurts and don’t continue bringing them up. You’re not perfect either. Let the next 30 years take you both to a higher level where a happy, loving marriage is priority #1. If his feet (or breath) smell – find a spray that works and apply it lovingly with a kiss. Don’t sweat the small stuff – and remember after 30 years together, it’s all small stuff.
Tip #5 – Take Care of Business with Tender Loving Care. Your vows included “For Richer or Poorer” so know all the investment and bank account numbers and review the monthly statements together to find ways to lovingly invest or earn more. Knowledge is Power! Establish a Family Trust or review the assets in your existing one. Discuss why you have your existing financial and health policies and discuss changes or reconsider any beneficiaries. Take an interest in new investment strategies that will add comfort to your next 30 years, for “In Sickness and In Health” is also part of your renewed vows. Go together to medical appointments and retirement workshops. Exercise or walk together daily (yes, sex is exercise). Eat healthy, kiss, and embrace a lifestyle that shows you want the next 30 to be as healthy and fulfilling as the first 30 years and be ready for whatever may come.
Tip #6 – Be Flexible and Don’t Quit “’Til Death Do Us Part”. As my husband suggests, “Plan each day as a honeymoon day (or night).” We all have seen how boredom and monotony can be huge barriers that keep us from remaining loving partners. If you have renewed your vows, are in bed together EVERY NIGHT doing a ritual that creates intimacy, and have become the one and only by making him the focus of your attention but it seems that it’s not working, DONT GIVE UP! Expect change to take 30-60 days for the new you to set in and for him to begin to expect to see the new you daily. Don’t go back to being the old you – even when it’s so much easier to ignore him. To Have and To Hold is part of your life-long commitment. It’s doable and can be so much fun to create and enjoy a renewed life together.
* V. Nicholas is a recently retired professor of paralegal studies, who has three children and four darling Grands ages 2,4,6, & 8. She’s been happily married to husband Tony for 30 years and her favorite saying is “Don’t wait for the storm to pass, learn to dance in the rain.” She also says, “If you need some fresh ideas, email me at email@example.com and I’ll share with you some that have worked for me – if you get my drift…”