Is Infidelity Over 55 On The Rise?

Jan 21, 2024 | Experts Corner

Is Infidelity Over 55 On The Rise?

6 Ways to Keep a Heathy Relationship

Sometimes as we grow older, we have had to accept that things change, and move with those changes and adapt when applicable. Yup- sometimes it’s a tough situation and hits us out of leftfield. Contrary to what we might expect of people in long-standing, seemingly committed relationships, it’s been found people over the age of 55 are more likely to have affairs than millennials. (We can’t believe it either!)

A new, long-term study cited by The Institute of Family Studies Found that in 2016, 20% of older people indicated their marriages were adulterous, compared to 14% for people under 55.
The findings suggest the trend toward extramarital sex in the US (where the study took place) is being driven by people in their 50s and 60s. And alarmingly, longer relationships weren’t exempt from being affected by affairs; data found that most of the people who reported having extra-marital sex have been married between 20 and 30 years!

So, it’s this is not great news for those of us enjoying ever-lasting love. But, on the plus side, the study found once people enter their 70s, rates of extramarital sex decline considerably.
Whether you’ve been with the same person for 30 years or you’re finding new love half a century into your life, it’s always a good time to brush up on your relationship skills or learn new ones. Maybe things have gotten stagnant with your spouse, or maybe you’ve found that dating has changed since you last tried it.

It’s never too late to learn these six secrets to a successful relationship after 55!

1. Open your heart fearlessly. To be successful in a relationship, you can’t be afraid to be yourself and share yourself. Real love requires honesty—about who you are, what you believe, how you feel, and what you want.Total commitment to reality and honesty supports the integrity of a relationship.You must be open and willing to share, listen, and understand. A happy relationship and a full life require the intention to learn about your partner and yourself and to continue to grow.

2. Create emotional safety. Healthy relationships depend on both parties feeling safe with each other, trusting that you are there for each other. Your circle of trust gets more important as you get older, and as you learn to cope with the changes and anxieties that aging involves. For emotional safety to exist, you need to feel that your partner truly hears you, sees you, and accepts you as you are and that he or she wants the best for you. And you must be this way for your partner too!

3. Address conflict in a spirit of love. A successful relationship requires successful conflict. Approach every disagreement with the intention to listen fully and respond in a spirit of love. Instead of responding in a knee-jerk way when your partner says or does something that upsets you, examine your feelings and mindfully consider what the other person said. It may surprise you how big a partition there can be between what you think you hear and what you feel you heard—and what your partner really said. Listen as much or maybe more than you talk, focus on common threads rather than differences, and look for a solution that pleases both of you.

4. Support your partner’s independence. No matter how close you are to your significant other, you remain individuals with your own needs and interests. Spending time alone doing your own thing shows mutual respect, not relationship strain. Be an advocate for your partner’sgoals and expect the same as well. This will substantiate trust and genuine interest.

5. Enjoy special time together. Don’t forget to have fun together. It’s important to go on new adventures and try new things. Don’t have a typical “date night.” Instead of dinner and a movie, take a class together or go on a day trip somewhere. As you grow older and face mortality, your relationship with your significant other provides an opportunity to explore your humanity and seek a better and deeper understanding of life. Change it up and go outside the box so to speak.

6. Work together to keep sex life active- As you age, some conditions or medicines may put a damper on your sex drive and performance. But don’t think that if you’re in the over-55 crowd, you have to settle for a less-than-fulfilling sex life. You can still enjoy sex — you just may have to put a little more thought and planning into it than you did when you were younger.
Here are a few things you can do to keep sex exciting and fulfilling for you and your partner:
Get regular exercise
You may think of sex as leisurely, but you can work up quite a sweat during lovemaking.
Keep it interesting; try something new
When you’ve been with the same partner for a long time, you may want to come up with ideas to add a little variety to your sex life.
Think Beyond Intercourse
If you or your partner can’t do this anymore, there are other options for you to enjoy closeness and pleasure. You get the picture.
Go Slowly After Surgery or Illness
Before you reconnect with your partner, give your body time to recover. Once you have your doctor’s OK, start slowly with sensual touching and kissing.

Whatever you do, speak honestly with your partner about how you’re feeling, both physically and emotionally during a difficult time you both are sharing and experiencing.

 

 

*Portions of article sourced from: theladders.com

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