A tongue in cheek look at laughing out loud no matter what…

a special feature*

There was a time when the minor nuisances of life used to drive me crazy. As I’ve aged, it seems that I no longer give a damn about a whole lot of things. As I write this piece I hurt. My left groin is pulled and I’ve hyper-extended my right knee. I’m limping on both legs. I walk like a penguin making his great trek from cuddling his newborn chick to his march to the arctic sea. I am beginning to shed from my scalp like a golden retriever in spring.

There are so many challenges left in life. I am still vertical and each day brings something new to drive me forward and at the same time…a bunch of old things that I have stopped obsessing over. Tomorrow I will go to physical therapy, and by next month I’ll be back on the tennis court.  I look forward to playing with the other 65+ year old guys. Each one of us has learned our bodies aren’t going to get any more mobile and that we have to just keep on ‘keeping on’ with our injuries. For me, my life has been a continual cycle: tennis, repair or replace a body part, physical therapy, then back on the courts.

It seems every day brings a new “test” and I say “bring it on.” I plan to live, be fruitful and let’s face it…not multiply any longer. The list of priorities in my life has changed, for better or worse.  I have noticed the difference of what age does to stuff that used to drive me nuts. Or how age changes my perspective. Family, health, and financial security have taken a more dominant position in my list of priorities. Other things seem to become less and less important to me. Reflect upon your own life. What situations used to drive you bonkers that no longer bother you at all? I’ve thought about it and there are a lot of things that—

 I no longer give a damn about, for instance….

-Hiding the number of chins I have when taking a selfie.

-When my wife says, “Are you wearing THAT!?” And I respond, “Yes, drop it!”

-That I sometimes refer to the web site as “The Facebook.

-If my video goes viral, I just don’t want my body to.

-That I used to invest in precious metals to make a living, but now invest in implanting precious metals in my joints just to make it up the stairs.

-When I look into the mirror and instead of seeing my father, I now see my grandfather.

-Black shoes–Brown socks.

-When you no longer care that your grandkids play “connect the dots” with your liver spots. I consider them as beauty marks anyway.

-That I now enjoy riding the golf cart more than playing the game.

-When I play hide and seek with the grandkids and they don’t bother to look for me anymore.

-That I have gone from presenting in “show and tell” to BEING “show and tell.”

-About your new phone, especially when you bring it over to my house and it burns down my living room!!!! Then I care a lot.

-If, by the click of keyboard, my great, great, great, grandchild has the capacity to genetically remove all of the eclectic traits that make me special.


*Steven Ziplow, writer & producer, lives with his wife in Charleston, South Carolina. He enjoys both sides of his “blended family.” As a footnote, he totally loves the idea of aging and pokes fun at it in his writings. His hobbies include acting, tennis, and replacing non-functioning parts of his body with titanium.