The Beast of Burden- How Not to Hold Grudges

Jun 26, 2022 | Special Features by Leslie & Kay, founders

The Beast of Burden- How Not to Hold Grudges

a special feature from Kay & Leslie, Founders

A family feud. A cold war with a neighbor. A workplace injustice. It might feel right to hold on to your sense of being wronged—but you may end up with more than your share of the suffering. Here’s how to move forward:*

It’s perfectly natural to bear grudges of all sizes—against a relative who showed favoritism, against a partner who cheated on you, and worse. And it’s hard for most of us to let go. When we’ve been wronged, it feels validating to think of ourselves as the blameless, oppressed victim. However, playing that role makes it hard to move on, because it makes you powerless—you can’t have it both ways.  Most importantly, we all make mistakes, and we all fall short at times. Learn to be more understanding and you will find often a new path to just let things go.

Consider what’s good for you. 
In holding a grudge, there’s a sense of strength and righteousness in the short term, You’re saying, “You can’t do this to me.” The quest for justice seems right. But it does not cure the resentment. It’s not about whether the offender deserves forgiveness. You deserve it, because you are the one who is hurt. You deserve to live a life free of that gnawing and discontent.

See the other person through new eyes. 
It may feel like the offender’s actions were meant to hurt you—and sometimes that’s true. We encourage everyone to view these incidents from a different perspective. Don’t define the person by the words or action that hurt you. That is not all the person is. Try to see them more broadly, in terms of their humanity and when they might have done good.

Don’t wait for someone to “earn” your forgiveness. 
People don’t deserve forgiveness. They don’t earn it. We simply give it.
Our advice: Do it sooner rather than later. A lot of people hold grudges because they are waiting for an apology, they think, “I’ll forgive them, but they haven’t asked me yet.” That’s not the way the world works. Most people won’t apologize in a way that is satisfying; in our culture we aren’t really taught how to do it. And maybe, just maybe, we can take a moment to vocalize just that- a simple ‘sorry’.  So, bottom line: f we want to be happy and heal ourselves when we’ve been hurt, we must forgive whether we are asked for forgiveness or not.

Good advice here that carries into all relationships; do not live your life with a chip on your shoulder just as the adage goes.  Truly, isn’t life too short?


*Article source:

Follow Us:

Related Posts:

Keep Humor in Your Life

Keep Humor in Your Life

It’s so important in this complicated world we live in that we need to keep humor close to our hearts, and be receptive to living our lives packed with smiles and fullness.  In doing so, it gives each one of us the ability to laugh harder at what comes our way at any time.

Develop Your Own Grandparenting Style

Develop Your Own Grandparenting Style

a special feature from Kay Ziplow & Leslie Zinberg, founders

If you poll all the grandparents you know, and maybe those you don’t- you’ll come away with one important fact…. each ‘grand’parent is unique and has their own style. There is no book or manual to read and we don’t care what anyone says- plain and simple this is the best time of your life! Now, think of it this way; like Iris Apfel in all her glory and style setting- we too are very much the same. Each of us brings to the table a very exclusive one-of-a-kind character. Take note of that because you can customize your ideal role as a grandparent. Trust us when we tell you…. no one size fits all when it comes to grandparenting! Be unique and be yourself! Here’s a few ips we’d love to share:

How to Embrace Change

How to Embrace Change

and not get stuck in a rut!
a special feature from Kay Ziplow & Leslie Zinberg, founders

Guilty? We all are- things that are routine become our footprint in life, however, there comes a time when we need to take a greater look with larger glasses and go beyond our comfort zones.
We have put together 5 ways for you to reflect on your life and work towards embracing change rather than let it get you stuck in a rut!


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

GrandparentsLink on Facebook GrandparentsLink on Twitter GrandparentsLink on Pinterest

About Us

Join Our Newsletter

Check out our E-Book Series

Click the Cover to Open Magazine

GrandparentsLink e-Book Series 1

Catch Our YouTube Channel Here!

GrandparentsLink YouTube


5 months ago
5 months ago

Grandparenting: Renew, Relive, Rejoice

Look Who’s Talking

Get up close and personal with Leslie & Kay, founders of, in this live radio interview with #Grand radio.
click here:

Would You Like To Receive Our Weekly Newsletter?

We don't want you to miss any of our info.

You have Successfully Subscribed!